If dreams are supposed to reveal something hidden in your subconscious then I have major problems. If not, then maybe I just ate something strange last night.

Anyway, as most dreams go, it consisted of a non-sensical chain of events that led from one impossible situation to another, where I was talking to a friend in one instant and in the next moment, she become a relative. I also vaguely remember eating at some church event where the food was laid out buffet style, and I got up to grab some chicken wings and next thing I knew, I was on the escalator in the Bay, going upstairs to the home furnishings department. But the weird part of the dream was that I believed that I was adopted. I mean, it was no secret in the dream, and I talked about it candidly with my parents (somewhere between eating at church and going to the Bay).

Then as the dream progressed I started thinking about it. What about my strong resemblance to my father? What about the uncanny similarity in temperment with my mom? What about those pictures in my baby album, of my mom in a hospital gown holding me just hours after I was born? Or the pictures of her while she was pregnant with me?

I think that was the cog that jammed up the inner working of the machine that was my dream, because as soon as I made the connection that I couldn't have been adopted, I jolted awake. As if my dream hit the "blue screen of death" and then proceeded to oust me into the realm of consciousness. "Warning! Warning! She's onto us! She accepted her friend morphing into her cousin but she's not buying the adoption thing! ABORT!"

OK, I think I've spent too much time at home today.


conversation stopper #1

Last night, in the middle of an intense discussion about how men tend to retreat into emotional caves rather than dealing with problems face-on, came the conversation stopping question of the year (from a friend whose name i will kindly withhold to save further embarrasment and alienation):

"hey guys, do you remember what your mom's breast milk tastes like?"

A tense moment passed as everyone wondered if they had heard the question right. Confirmation of this came swiftly enough as one by one, we doubled over in laughter and recoiled in horror (at the same time - something I didn't even know was possible until last night).

so remember boys and girls, if your reputation doesn't mean very much to you, you can try that line too. (just kidding Joe! umm...ooops. =P)