back to the 'burbs

and so i have returned.

it's been almost three weeks since i've been back and still people are asking me "So you've moved back home already?" in a lowered tone of voice that is slightly mournful, pitying and sympathetic all the same time, not unlike that tone you would use to comfort someone at a funeral. there are losses and there are gains to returning to the nest. for starters, i have my mother fussing over whether i'm dressed warmly enough to go out, or getting enough sleep, or have something to bring to the office for breakfast. it's nice, really, except this nagging feeling i have inside of me everytime i decide to skip dinner at home, that is accompanied by something that sounds like my mother's voice giving me the "hotel" speech, that one that reminds me that my home is not where i simply drop off my things, get free food and put my head down to sleep.

living away from home meant hardly getting the typical 8 hours needed for sleep. it meant worrying about my car being vandalized or stolen because it was parked a few blocks away in a neighbourhood where both things have happened (a fear that was realized when i found my sideview mirror hanging lifelessly by a wire last month - drunken imbeciles have to get their kicks somehow, i suppose). some expiration dates on food were a given a few days grace. my bedtime lullaby consisted of squealing tires and sirens, at times, alternating; at other times, synchronized in a strange harmony.

despite all that, i enjoyed the experience thoroughly and would do it again, on a more permanent basis when i have really and truly have the means.

the fruits of boredom

During one of my many boring days at work last month, I flexed my creative muscle and wrote out some new lyrics to John Mayer's "Your Body Is a Wonderland". Actually, I need to give credit to Jon, who came up with the idea of rewriting to "We're going to Wonderland". (The amusement park in Toronto, people!) So here you go...


Verse:
You've got the weekend free
I've got no place to be
So why don't you come with me
To another place, another city

Flying down the 401, there's
no time for bathroom runs, 'cause
the day is short, the lines are long and
there'll be more time for fun

Bridge:
So if you have cash
just bring some
I hear the prices
they raised them
and if you get nauseous
don't eat lunch
'cause it's gonna be wild...

Chorus:
We're going to Wonderland
(We'll drive the van)
We're going to Wonderland
(Don't make new plans)
We're going to Wonderland
(Prepare to stand)
We're going to Wonderland

Verse:
Somethin 'bout the smell of hotdogs in the air
the sounds of screams and sights of people flung 'round here and there
The rides are short and the food's expensive
but you'll manage to convince yourself that somehow it was all well worth it...

(repeat bridge and chorus)